Dear Super Mario Galaxy,
You are slowly ruining my life.
When I first met you last Friday I thought you were the best gift I could ever receive indirectly through my roommate's girlfriend. You came to me like a miracle from St. Valentine himself. You made me believe that this fake holiday really could be about loving each other so much that we give each other amazing Wii video games. But before long I had overly romanticized our relationship like a self-involved tween on Valentines Day, blinded by promises of happiness and love just long enough for you to leech onto my fragile little mind and suck away all my ambitions and dreams until there was nothing left to do but fight Bowser for a grand star.
It seemed so innocent at first. Just running around, jumping on mushroom men, gathering coins, completing missions on my way to save the princess. It all felt so familiar. Then you turned me into a bee and had me climbing on honeycombs, you made me defeat a giant egg monster using nothing but its own tail and the wall-jumping... oh the wall-jumping. And every time I won another star you just kept letting me discover new planets before I even gathered all the stars in Beach Bowl Galaxy, you monster!
Even when I shut my door to study for midterms I can hear you in the living room shouting "woo-HOOO," you DIRTY SIREN! Even when I leave my apartment I can't get that five note melody out of my head. Yesterday I felt the sudden urge to dodge traffic because I saw something shiny on the other side of the street.
I haven't watched a single minute of TV since Thursday.
I have no idea what is going on with my friends.
So I have decided to break up with you, Super Mario Galaxy. I know you will resist me and I will probably cave. I just wish you would go away. How can I avoid you when you won't leave my apartment and you keep hanging out with all my friends? I need to leave the house. I need to spend time with other people. I need to graduate college. And I really don't see that happening if you keep hanging around me. I would do it myself but I'm not strong enough. I wish I could just eject you, put you back in your case and lend you to my friend who never returned Wii Sports but I can't, Super Mario Galaxy. I can't. It's really too bad that Jeff bought that 30 pack of batteries or we would have lost all power in our remotes by now.
I just hope you find it in your heart to let me go; to develop a scratch that makes you skip too much or get misplaced one day on the off-chance that one of my roommates has a sudden urge to play Crazy Taxi. But for now, I'm going to go feed that Luma Star because I think it will take me to a planet where I can turn into a giant icicle and walk on lava.
Sincerely,
Elena
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